Release Yourself From Expectations
"Do you see the people in your life for who they really are,
or do you see them how you want them to be?
Never keep someone in your life because you are expecting
them to change, keep them in your life because you
appreciate them regardless of change!"
An expectation is a belief that there will be a certain outcome in the future, which may or may not be realistic. A belief is when you have faith or confidence, that something is fact or true, without substantial proof. Expectations usually involve another person, or people, or an outcome of a situation, oftentimes resulting in disappointment.
Wow! I bet you never realized how complicated having an expectation could be. Expectations are extremely toxic to your happiness!
Problems with expectations:
#1 Element of control
When people have placed an expectation on someone or something, it is usually because they want to control what the outcome essentially is. When an expectation is placed, there is resistance to any other outcome than what is “expected.” You have decided this is the only acceptable outcome (otherwise, there would be no expectation.)
#2 Belief
Belief means that you “believe” there will be a certain outcome in the future, which may or may not be realistic, without substantial proof! The crazy thing about this is you have no substantial proof that things are going to turn out the way you expect them to, yet you are still “expecting” it to turn out the way in which you “believe” it will. One of the greatest things about the future is that the future is constantly changing. However, that also makes it hard to anticipate a certain outcome.
#3 Disappointment
When you become rigid in your thinking, you have a very high probability of disappointment. The act of feeling disappointment itself is not the whole problem, but the resistance that you feel in the body as a result of acquiring an expectation is. Resistance and other negative feelings felt energetically in the body, such as disappointment, can and do cause illness.
1) Release yourself from your own expectations.
This is going to be hard for many people and yet one of the most freeing things that you will ever experience. Stop expecting others to behave differently! Why? Because you cannot control other people’s behavior! Period! I don’t care how hard your try, the illusion that you can control another person’s behavior is just that, an illusion. I don’t care if the other person is two years old or eighty-two years old, they choose to react to you, or a situation, all on their own. Now you can “wish” they behave differently, but do not expect it. The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept other people’s behavior and the choices they make. You may not agree with them, you may even wish them to do things differently, but accept it. Just as you would appreciate other people accepting the choices that you make.
2) Release yourself from expectations that other people put on you.
All people put expectations on someone or something in order to reduce the anxiety, fear, or worry that they have within themselves. They want to feel calm inside, and in order to do that, many people “mistakenly” think that the calmness comes from outside of themselves. So they do their best to control their environment. The problem with this is that you may be “in their environment.” So do not alter what is best for you in order to calm someone else’s environment. Because you do not have that much control over their environment!
"Control is an illusion. You will never be able to
control anything, any situation, or anyone without consent.
So in actuality there is no control, there is only consent!"
This is an excerpt from my new book:
The Pursuit of Happiness: 21 Spiritual Rules to Success coming April 2012!
You can visit my Amazon author page at: http://www.amazon.com/Jennifer-ONeill/e/B007C6LDRY/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1